The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook (The Housewife Assassin Series) (Volume 1)

Murder. Suspense. Sex. And some handy Household tips. 
IN BOOK 1 OF THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES:  

All I really needed to know about being a freelance assassin I learned before my youngest daughter, Trisha, started kindergarten. 
I’ve come to that realization as I lay naked and handcuffed to the bed of my target du jour, a sleazebag by the name of Yuri Petrovich. Yuri has just downed a couple of Viagra with the last of his Starbucks venti-sized nonfat decaf caramel macchiato. This is to ensure us both that his attempt to mount me will have all the gusto of a broncobuster breaking in the wildest filly in the corral before heading on into the sunset. (In truth, we are in a hillside suite at the Chateau Marmont. But considering Yuri’s attitude toward women, the cowboyspeak sums things up quite nicely.) 
Believe it or not, everything is going just as I planned, and right on schedule… 
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN’S HANDBOOK… 
Every housewife needs an alias. Donna Stone has one–and it happens to be government-sanctioned. 
Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers, or driving carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents. 
Donna’s life wasn’t always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband: Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna’s life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby. Carl’s car blew up on the way to the hospital. 
Turns out Carl was a “hard man”–an assassin–for the black ops organization known as Acme Industries. The hit on Carl was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum’s motto: “Show me the money.” Governments and corporations do as they’re told–or suffer bloody consequences. 
To protect herself and avenge Carl’s death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart’s, her marksmanship is second to none. 
A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. For Donna, that’s too close for comfort. Will she be able to save her family before the Quorum blows up Los Angeles?Acme’s way of flushing out the Quorum is by “bringing Carl back from the dead.” 
But terrorism makes strange bedfellows–and brings new meaning to that old adage “Honey, I’m home…”

Nanci Arvizu, Writing and Reviews Editor

Write Publish Promote at Cowgirlheart Media
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About Nanci Arvizu, Writing and Reviews Editor 2429 Articles

Write, Publish, Promote. Words I am learning to live by. Want this to be your motto too? Join me and together we’ll navigate the path to publishing success.

3 Comments

  1. Even though it was free, I paid too much Not funny, not romantic, and not a mystery, but if you want a ridiculous plot with lots of sex and violence, this is for you

  2. Started out boring….didn’t really get better The plotlines were very simple. It was easy to see exactly where the author was going with the story. There was no mystery, simply an excuse for sex scenes written without the use of a decent thesaurus. Lots of slang for body parts slamming together. Not a treat.

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