The Dog Poop Scoop



ALERT: There is no poop fairy!! 

Have you seen the poop pick up bags provided by parks and recreation and HOA’s all over the city?  It’s no longer necessary to arm yourself with used grocery bags meant as poop scoopers when you leave the house with your dog.  Despite the upgraded convenience of this new provision, many people still leave their dog’s poop on the ground for all to see.

Thank you. 050216PooperScooper

Provided bags!! So easy a child can do it!

The thing that really baffles me is the bag that is left on the ground.  In this case, someone took the trouble to retrieve the bag from the post, watch his dog poop, pick up the poop, tie the bag off then left the bag on the ground for all to see.  The bag actually looks worse than the poop, especially in areas that are meant to look like natural earth.  Is there a poop fairy that picks up these bags?  Is there a landscaping crew or city employee who picks up the poop bags?


I simply don’t understand the mentality behind this action.  One decides to pick up the poop but leave the bag in the wide open area.  And if there is someone who picks up the poop bags, when were civilians notified that this is the new way to handle dog poop?  Was there a memo?  Was it announced on the PetSmart website?  Why does everyone seem to know the answer but me?

Picking up the poop is the gross part.  Carrying the bag is a bit gross but not as gross as picking up the poop.  Never, in my 20 years of having my own dog, have I picked up the poop, tied the bag off and thought, “I sure wish I could leave the bag here to look worse than a pile of poop in my neighborhood” or “I sure am tired, I wish I could leave this bag here for someone else to clean up”.  Does the bag simply get too heavy and that’s what started this whole thing?  Unless cleaning up after an elephant, I would argue the full dog poop bag is manageable.  050216PooperScooper2 <— Pretty.

Do the people who leave the full bags also leave full toilets?  Now there is an interesting research study…

What aggravates me about this entire pooper scooper thing is the underlying idea that one does not have to clean up after himself or his dog, at least not entirely.   After one reaches a certain status, he no longer has to do literal shit detail.  Maybe that’s true in the corporate world but when one decides to have a dog, regardless of corporate world crap, one decides to have dog poop.  The two cannot be separated.  Look it up. Dog poop needs to be picked up.   Completely.

The other cool thing is when the provided bags are atop a trash can and someone lets his dog poop right by the trash can, right by the bags.  This phenomena can only be described as pure lack of pride and pure laziness.

Plea to dog owners:  Please use the provided dog poop bags or your own grocery store bags (Target bags are great because they are thick) to pick up after your dog.  If you do this, please throw your bag in a nearby trash receptacle, even if you have to carry it.  It’s full circle, you will feel accomplished!

Even if you live in a really nice neighborhood with landscapers and an impressive zip code, please pick up after the dog.  Have enough pride in your neighborhood or park to pick up after yourself and your dog.  I know it seems logical that there is a poop fairy since fairies like flowers and flowers need fertilizer and a poop fairy would need fertilizer — breath — but more than likely there is not a poop fairy.  If there is, she probably likes horse and cow poop which is better for her plants. 050216PooperScooper3

Happy Poop Fairy!  (Should she be barefoot?)

Lastly, if you know why people started leaving full poop bags for someone else to pick up, let me know the story.  I’m confused.

Jeri Schott

I'm an unpublished writer.

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I’m an unpublished writer.

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