FNN Report: Pope’s Visit Blamed For Rat Infestation

Rats Seek Pope

Pope’s Visit to New York Coincides with Millions of Rats by the River Facing Manhattan. Leave Banks A Mess.

Faux News Network Local Reporter Lois Nosey attended a press conference called by three Hudson County mayors who plan to sue the Vatican for expenses incurred during the Papal visit to New York City.

According to the mayors, their towns, Jersey City, Hoboken and Weehawken, experienced a huge influx of rats while the Pope was in Manhattan and the mayors want to reimbursed for the expenses involved in controlling the rats. All three towns are on the New Jersey side of the Hudson River and face Manhattan.

A representative for Newark Archdiocese said the claim is baseless. The representative added “….there is no scientific evidence that rats can recognize the Holy Father and seek his blessings. Consequently, the demand for compensation is ridiculous.”

The mayors claim that the rat population tripled and that the rats congregated around the edge of the river as close to Manhattan as possible without getting wet. The rats made a huge mess, caused thousands of dollars of damage and terrified the residents.

Several media outlets have exploited the event by interviewing rat experts, exorcists, mountebanks, reality stars and anyone who will grant an interview and answer questions about the rat infestation which ended after the Pope left for Philadelphia.

Ms. Nosey will continue to monitor this developing story.

Hank Quense

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