This is Mia Diversion, entertainment reporter for Faux News Network. Today, I’m privileged to talk to the three of Camelot’s Knights of the Round Table who traveled with Princess Moxie. I’m sure we’ll get some juice tidbits about the Princess.
Mia: I know you three were kind of shocked by Moxie when you first met her. But if you had to pick one quality you admire in the Princess, what would it be?
Percivale: I wouldn’t call it admiration, but I was surprised at how she never stopped whinin’. I didn’t know people could do that all day long for weeks on end. I thought that was pretty amazin’. In a bad way.
Gareth: Moxie had nothing to admire so I just ignored her and let Percivale and Bors deal with her.
Bors: I never meet met a more stubborn woman in my life. I went out of my way to teach her some basic finance that could help her out in later in life and all I got for my trouble was scorn and ridicule. I guess I have to admire how pig-headed she was.
Mia: What stands out the most about your time with the Princess?
P: Whenever we traveled with her, we always ran into unusual and very dangerous stuff.
G: She was always trying to get us killed.
B: Like the time when she attacked the tribal leader at an oak moot.
MIa: Oh, tell me more about the oak moot.
P: We stopped for a night in a clearin’ surrounded by oak trees with one massive tree inna middle of the clearin’.
B: It was safe until Moxie got mad at the big tree. She claimed it insulted her. Moxie’s alway hearing stuff from rocks and trees. I think she’s a little batty.
G: So, Moxie gets mad, grabs Perc’s battle ax and attacks the big tree, who it turns out is the head of all the oak trees. She hacks off a lower branch and that was it.
P: All the trees pulled their roots outta the ground and started chasin’ us. We barely escaped.
B: And they chased us all the way back to Moxie’s father’s castle.
G: Trees don’t need to sleep, so we hadda keep goin’ without stoppin’ to rest except for a hour or two at a time.
Mia: What was her father, King Smedley, like?
P: A total pain in the butt and a grand miser.
G: Always threatenin’ to hang us from the battlements or have his guards kill us.
B: Gettin’ killed isn’t as bad as the time he wanted Moxie to pick one of us as her husband.
P: I still shudder at the thought of that threat.
Mia: What else can you tell me about Moxie?
P: I don’t wanna talk about her.
G: Now that she’s a queen, maybe they’ll leave us alone.
B: I ain’t travelin’ with her anymore unless I get paid a lot of coins.
P: I don’t wanna go with her even if we do get paid. Two novels worth of Moxie is enough for one lifetime